Thoughts from the Cliff Dweller

“We Smell Smoke” - a true & funny story

Years ago I was the Director of the Customer Activation center for Canadian Carrier. It was a fairly decent size operation of 225 FTE and like any call center we had our share of incidents.    

My center was on the same floor as the Customer Care team. We were a smaller team so we occupied less than prime real estate on the floor and our area led to a walkway that connected the two office buildings that my company leased.

It was a Tuesday morning, when one of the ladies from the “other building” came hurriedly down the hall. ‘We are evacuating the building, we smell smoke” she said as she rushed by us and carried on spreading the news to the other teams on the floor.

There was no planned fire drill this week, so the news was unexpected and I gathered up the supervisors and ordered the Agents to end their calls and evacuate down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor and then across the street as we were instructed to do in just such a case.   

Two fire trucks later and the “All Clear” was given to return to the building, false alarm. 

Thursday afternoon (of the same week) and sure enough if it isn’t the same lady is coming down the hall again, “We smell smoke, we should evacuate the building.” I look at her and say, “Are you sure, I don’t smell anything”, to this she said sternly, “we must evacuate the building”. I looked at my team and said “we are staying put until the fire alarm goes off or someone else smells smoke.” They looked at me as if I had two heads but agreed to stay as we watch the rest of the floor head for the exits. Those who felt anxious or just wanted another cigarette break took advantage of the situation and scurried off down the stairwells.

Interestingly, one fire truck later and the “All Clear” was given again. I guess if you call twice in one week even the fire department has its doubts. 

So it’s Friday morning and my Boss rings me. “get down to my office.” Clearly not happy, but at this time I had not connected the events of the week to his brisk tone. No sooner was I in his office and I hear “close the door”. “Who the hell do you think you are, deciding to keep your team on the floor during a fire alarm.” “But, Boss there was no alarm, just an alarming lady..” Cut off in mid sentence, “I don’t give a s…, if someone says smoke you get your team downstairs and across the street”, “OK” I muttered, “Now thanks to you we have a meeting with Corporate HR on Monday at 9:00 am,” he said.  I knew that since neither of us had ever met anyone from Corporate HR, this must be a big deal.

Monday morning: The Boss and I met at the conference room down the same hall from which the lady had appeared twice before.  We arrived 10 minutes early, ready for the lashing that was undoubtedly waiting us. My Boss, was entirely innocent except for the fact that he had left me unguarded during fire alarms, which I guess now made him an accessory to the crime.

In the room with us was the local HR person ready with customary box of Kleenex in case one of us broke down under the pressure of the interrogation.

Moments later Corporate HR showed up. A rather executive looking man comes into the room, closes the door and without introductions starts right at me about the rules, regulations and responsibilities and this goes on for some time. The pressure was building.  Then there comes a knock at the door. The Corporate HR exec ignores the knock and keeps on with his lecture. Again two more knocks, louder, more forceful this time. Unable to ignore the urgency of them, the Executive utters a growly “ w h a t !! ”.

The door opens and I can’t believe my eyes, its the lady!! “Excuse me,” she says, “sorry to interrupt, but we smell smoke and we think we should evacuate the building”. I look at the man from Corporate HR and raise both hands (elbows low) palms flat and in a tone slightly above a whisper I said “See!”. 

The exec glares at his local HR person to come along as they leave the room to chase down the lady. The Boss and I sat there for 20 minutes in total silence. Finally, I said “I think the meeting is over,” and pointing sheepishly to the door, I made my escape.

I never saw Corporate HR or the lady again.